4th February 2009

Text

addiction.

wikipedia?

The term “addiction” is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion, or excessive physical dependence or psychological dependence.

Thanks.

i have always connected addiction to things like drugs, alcohol etc… substances that effect your being.

but lately i have wondered can you become addicted to other things? well. according to wikipedia yes you can. If wikipedia says yes then it must be true.

i personally think that people can be addicted to all sorts of things. everyone has multiple addictions.

people can be addicted to success, sex, lying, food, attention… the list could go on forever. but i have always wondered, can you become addicted to another person?

that sounds kind of creepy. but seriously. can people become addicted to one another?

here is what i think since i am a self proclaimed scientist:

i don’t think that people can become addicted to eachother, i think they can become obsessed with eahother, in some cases one person can become more obessed/attached to another person more.

but if you take a look at wikipedia’s definition of addiction it includes the word obsession. hmmmm…

i really have no idea why i am thinking about this today. i just think that sometimes it dawns on you that you are more attached to people than they are to you. This one time this kid told my best friend that i am too emotionally attached to people and i really think this is true.

i think i take way too many things personally and i let them hurt me so much that it literally can ruin my day. this is probably not too good.

i really wish that i could just take things with a grain of salt and just dismiss people in my life like certain people do… but do i want this? i don’t think so.

i am sitting in this class right that  taught by this woman named penny. Penny is like no one i have ever met before in my entire life. she always sees the good in every single person. She tells everyone in the classroom that she believes they are beautiful… even though i’m sure she knows that they have all done things in their life that they are not proud of.

one time i was telling my friend about penny and i said that i wish i could be more like her. I wish i could just see the beauty in people instead of always wanting more. My friend then said to me, ” clare. i bet people walk all over penny.” why is this?

why do people who value everyone for what they are always walked all over?

hmmm… who knows even.

whatever. life is too short to sit and be mad at people, be rude to people etc…

i am going to be a push over. i am going to keep being nice to people, i’m going to keep texting people even though i don’t get any response, i’m going to keep baking people things, and i am going to talk to people online that i like to talk to because i want to. i am not going to give up. so fuck everyody who calls me a pushover, or too emotionally atached, or annoying. fuck. you.

i am going to start to value my friends for what they are and who they are right now. not who they used to be wor what they used to do. take it how it is. love people for what they have to give you now because that is all they have.

i’m going to stop wanting more. because when all you do is want more you are never satisfied. i think that i have a hell of a lot to be satisfyed for with in my life right now.

this seems like the craziest post ever…

but i just needed to write.

that’s what you are here for though right?